Time for the Democrats to Get a New Mascot


I Have the Perfect Mascot for the Democrats

An Emu. That is right, an Emu. Now before I explain why an Emu as the new mascot makes the most sense, let me give you a little background. I took my kids to see a bird show some years ago, and one of the featured birds was an Emu. The trainer comes out on stage with the bird and announces to the audience that among an Emu’s characteristics is that its brain was so small. So small, in fact, that if an Emu passed the same person six times, the bird thinks it has actually made six new friends.

When I heard that, I had to double check the show program to make sure he was talking about an Emu and not a Democrat. It would not be the first time someone substituted the word “bird” for a Democrat, by the way. To prove my point, there’s a sign at the end of the pier near my apartment that warns pier visitors not to feed the birds because "it makes a mess, is unhealthy, and creates dependency.”  Obviously, the sign maker substituted the word Bird in place of Democrat to save space.

Still Not Convinced?

If anyone doubts how well an Emu would depict today’s Democrat, one only needs to look to the most recent election for proof. The Democrats/ Emus and their cousins, the RINOs / Lemmings, gave us eight years of Obama, Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi, and then they wanted to saddle us with Hillary Clinton. Not a single one of them has ever been caught telling the truth about anything; hell, Clinton cannot even tell the truth about how she got her name. Not to mention there isn’t a modicum of competence or intelligence to be found among them and the party as a whole.

Yet, you talk to any member of the Democratic National Committee, and they will tell you that their party embodies competence, intelligence, and integrity. Until, of course, you ask them to cite a single example where any or all of those features are on display. It is there that you see the stark resemblance to an Emu as they run off looking for new friends and free food. It is so easy to confuse a Democrat: just ask them to name a single accomplishment by Clinton. Moreover, if you really want to have some fun, ask them to tell you about a single time she has ever told the truth. It is priceless watching them do their best to avoid going into convulsions.

However, let me just stop right here for a second and offer my apologies to any Emus that might take offense at my suggesting they are as stupid as Democrats.  Sorry.

Democratic Leadership Relies on the Emu Mindset

Obama / Clinton followers vote not on the merits of what members of their party have achieved but rather on the lies that are told about their opponents. Lying and incompetence, as we have learned from the last eight years of Obama and the Clintons’ entire careers, are requirements for leading the Democrat party, and why their supporters are not allowed to be smarter than an Emu by even an iota.

The Asses, or Democrat leaders, as depicted by the current mascot, don’t achieve success by producing anything of substance. They are rated on how creatively they can lie. The lies are put out in a seemingly harmless way so that typical followers who do not have a clue still won’t have a clue. Here’s what I mean.

What Tactics Do the Democratic Leaders Use?

Democrats bill themselves as exceedingly tolerant unless of course, you do not agree with them. If you are a black or gay person who supports Trump, then you are painted as not really being black or gay. If you support Trump and you are both black and gay, then they really hate your guts. Democrats /emus paint themselves as loving humanitarians but try to shame you if you feel compassion for the babies butchered at the baby killing farm known as Planned Parenthood. And they actually call those baby butchers doctors.

Probably the funniest one of all is how they bill themselves as non-racists and ignore that their party was not only the party of slave owners, but the party that divided our country while causing the deaths of so many Americans so they could preserve a Democrat’s right to own slaves. Once they lost that war, they started the Ku Klux Klan and got good ole Abe Lincoln to agree to let them enjoy segregation which lasted for more than 100 years. They are still dividing the country today. Don’t forget it was a Democrat, an actor no less, who killed President Lincoln. Anybody see any similarities in today’s climate?

Democrats - Masters at Projection

However, like the exceptional marketers (hucksters) that they are, leaders/asses in the Democrat party have convinced their emu-like followers that every one of those hateful attributes belongs to the Republicans. Of course the Republicans, like the lemmings they are, let them do it time after time. The Democrats are like advertisers who make packages smaller while charging the same price as when they used to make the same packages bigger. They call it a "Fun New Size," and because the price did not change, many buyers are too stupid to realize they are paying more for less. Think back on how David Axelrod used a similar concept to convince idiot voters that Obama, the community organizer, was qualified to be president.

That is how the Democrats are. If you want to know what the Democrats are really doing, then simply look at what they are accusing the Republicans of. Not only is each accusation a lie about the Republicans, but it is normally the truth about the Democrats, kind of like the person in the room who passes gas but accuses the person next to him of doing it. The Democrats spew toxic waste as they take up space in Washington but convince their followers that they are not the ones creating the problems.

So what it boils down to is this: the asses that lead the Democrat Party rely solely on the stupidity of their average voter, so they reach out to the dumbest of the dumb and tell them whom to vote for but never why. To be successful at attracting that kind of voter, you need to find someone with an IQ of less than 1 and with no memory. Considering that an Emu walks by the same person six times and thinks it has made six new friends, it quite possibly might be a little too intelligent to be the mascot seeing as it can count to six. However, it's probably a good place to start. Go Emus, er, Democrats!

Ted Beagleman / Writer

I write political satire and biting commentary on social media. I have an eye for spotting the ridiculousness of Democrats and “never-Trumper” Republicans. I am a biker and American patriot who is ready for liberty and truth to prevail in America.

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